Backyard Feeder

Backyard Feeder
photo taken through porch screen

Friday, June 05, 2009

Mania is looking pretty good now..

It gets "better" or worse or something. Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon-from about 11:30 to almost 6 sitting in the hospital waiting for them to admit Troy because his suicidal thoughts are bothering him.

When he finally gets to the part where he signs the paperwork, he tries to back out. They told him that he would have to convince the doctor that he was alright or he would be involuntarily admitted. So he went along peacefully.

I had signed up for a class at the library at 6:00 (medicinal herbs) and Troy told me that I should go ahead and go, that I could miss the 6-7pm visiting hours since we had spent my whole day off at the hospital and I needed the break. He did want me to get some clothes together (he didn't think about that before he went in?) and bring them to him-nothing with strings or anything dangerous-but clean socks and underwear, some jeans and T-shirts.

I'd already washed some things and put in another load before leaving for the class. Told the kids I'd be out for an hour or two and to start dinner without me if they got hungry.

I went to the class on my scooter (I think I am now known as the crazy scooter lady because I drive the thing in all weather unless it's pouring rain when I leave for work-can't work in wet clothes).

The speaker has a bit of laryngitis, so she's talking in whispers and about quarter to seven my phone rings-I run out of the room to answer it-it'sChris wondering if I need a ride home. I'm going to be here at least a while longer, so I'll call if the weather is bad when I want to come home. I'm fine.

I get back to my seat and they are passing around samples of herbs, dried herbs, tinctures, teas, etc. to show how herbs are preserved and used.

She's talking about the things you can do to stay healthy: like limiting stress-doI laugh or cry at this point?-and some recipes for "tonics" to clean out your digestive system and some antioxidants to boost immunity.

Another half hour and I get another phone call-rush out of the room-a cellphone is really loud when the class is being held at a whisper, even with the microphone.

It's Troy wondering when we will be bringing his clothes.He's spent the afternoon in hospital clothes and wants real clothes. I explain that I'm in the class I was planning to go to and that I'd have his clothes in the morning.

I'm really interested in the class, but it's hard to focus. Good thing there are take-home notes. I'm sure the instructor thinks I'm crazy or rude or something, but I just had my husband admitted to the mental ward-it's not exactly a normal day.

By the time the class ends, I am noticing that the rain is slowing down and I'm hoping that I can get home on my scooter before it starts pouring again. I go through some frantic searching for the keys-last time I lost the keys, the scooter disappeared. Deep breaths. Found the keys, got home, the washer didn't do quite the spin cycle it is supposed to do and Troy's jeans are dripping, but I wring them a bit in myhands and toss them into the dryer.

Josh, 16, has found a "salamander" at the park and wants to go to the pet store for food. It's after 8 and the pet store might be closing, besides we have no idea what this thing eats. Pack it up, take it along, see if the pet store people can guess. The only person at the pet store is a kid Josh's age-I'm sure there's a manager somewhere, but nowhere in sight. We buy a bag of tiny crickets and cross our fingers.

The "salamander" turns out to be a skink-after considerable internetresearch-whole different category, from amphibian to reptile, but the same diet-there are a few positive things in my life still. He refuses to eat anything in front of us, but he should survive. Josh discovers that the bottom of our old tank is totaled, so he takes the thing to the neighbor'shouse where they have a big empty tank he can live in for now.I'm tired so I start getting ready for bed.

Realize that it's 11pm and Josh needs to get to bed-not an easy person to wake in the morning for school. He doesn't answer his phone and Dawn offers to go get him from the neighbor'shouse. He comes home in a huff-why do I have to be in bed so early (excuse me?Early? It's almost midnight!) and he slams the door.

A few minutes later Chris goes into his room to ask how the skink is doing and discovers. noJosh. Now Chris is mad and screaming. Runs over to the neighbor's house.Josh reappears in his other brother's downstairs bedroom with even moreattitude than before. I'm too tired to deal with this-could everyone pleasejust get to bed?The alarm rings, I swear, the minute my head hits the pillow.

Time to getJosh up. He seems to be moving, but I have to keep at him or he'll fall back into bed. Never mind-there went the bus.

I drive Josh to school and when I'm just two blocks from home the car stalls at the corner. The gas gage is on empty. I knew that. Why didn't I just stopfor gas? Mind not in gear. Call home. No one answers. A man in a work van pulls up behind me and offers to push me off the road so I can go get help.See, another good thing.

I get home and TJ is just getting up. He has a Jeep with a broken gas gage,so he has a 5 gallon gas can he can take and get gas for the car. Off to thegas station. $10 worth of gas and the thing starts right up. Yep, life is good.

Get home in time to realize that Troy's jeans still aren't quite dry and Ihave to get to work. Set the dryer heavy and ask TJ if he will drop the stuff off when the jeans get dry. I'm pretty sure they are worried that mom will crash and burn at any minute, so he agreed to get the stuff to his dad as soon as possible.

It's pouring rain, so I take the car to work for the first time in months-at least I know it has gas.

Work was pretty quiet-an oasis-until a police officer shows up in mydepartment and asks to talk to me about my son. What son? What did he do now? Is this a conspiracy?

Josh is somehow involved with a cell phone being stolen at school. He didn't steal it and he only knows who did it based on the rumors at the school, but they need to talk to him and he refuses to talk without a parent.

OK, you can talk to him-but do not make him crazy.We've had a hard week.An hour or so later I get a call from TJ-Josh has called the police and told the whole story, including naming the person he believes took the phone.Josh is out of trouble with the police.


I've had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Do you think there's room in Australia?

Just another day in paradise...

I don't know if this is funny or sad or what, but I have to share my day. I knew it would be an interesting day because Troy (bipolar husband) had beencomplaining about suicidal thoughts and was contemplating the hospital.

Iasked him to make me a dental appointment, because I had a toothache and with 10 hour days and no phone that dials out, it is easier for him-so I knew he would call and let me know when the appointment is.

My 18 year old son mentioned that his younger brother had been texting him that he didn'tfeel well and asking him to pick him up from school-he gets there about an hour before I leave for work and already he's complaining before I leave.Yeah, just your average day.

So I start getting phone calls about an hour after I get to work-Troy,telling me that he's going to leave the phone at home if he goes to theemergency room and will take the truck if he finds the keys so I can have the car if they keep him. He's still not sure he wants to go.

Maybe twenty minutes later-Josh (youngest son, diagnosed as ADHD, but doing an excellent imitation of depressive episode these days) whining that his stomach is turning and he's getting a headache and he can't concentrate anyways.

I talk to the school nurse and she tells me that he already has too many absences and he will need a doctor's excuse to miss another day of school. Since I know that depression is not exactly contagious and that what he is describing is exactly what he's had in the past, I suggest that he tryto tough it out, rest in the nurse's office and at least get his homework for his classes and do what he can.

He's not exactly happy, but he'll try.About an hour after that--TJ (older son) calls to ask if he needs to go pick up his brother. I tell him that he's trying to get through the rest of the day and will text him if he needs to come home.

It occurs to me that "home"is not exactly the best place to be since there is already one depressed person there, but....

Troy calls just before lunch-he couldn't get an appointment on one of mydays off, but I have one at 7:30 in the morning on the one weekday next weekthat I work the full ten hours. Not exactly what I was hoping, but you don't turn down a dental appointment when you have a tooth ache. Fine.

Shortly after lunch-Josh calls back, he's not getting better and he really wants to go home. I talk to the nurse and tell her that if he can't beproductive at school, he may as well have his brother pick him up.By the time I get home at 7:30pm, Josh is helping Chris (his 21 year old brother)polish Chris' car. I ask what he's going to do about missing school. Hetells me that it was almost the end of the day anyways, so he didn't call for a ride. Fine.

I come inside, half expecting to see the phone in Troy's chair, but there he is. He tells me that he did get up and out today-took Josh to mow a lawn fora lady from church, took Josh to softball practice-busy kid for being so sick.

Troy still feels depressed and miserable, but doesn't want to go tothe hospital because he doesn't think there is much they can do for him. Suicidal thoughts DO worry me, but his thoughts are not well-formed and he is the one who suggested the hospital, so I know he doesn't want to follow through on them, so he can spend another day in his chair. I don't think dynamite would move him.

I didn't do much of anything today besides working my usual ten hour shiftas a cosmetics clerk at Walgreen Drug, but I feel tired. Can't imagine why.

Bonnie Rice Wife of Troy,BP1 and on Lithium, Depakote, Seroquel and VytorinMother to Josh, 16, ADHD and on Melatonin and Concerta for nowMother to TJ, 19, left college because there was no work in MI (it's true)Mother to Chris, 21, considering the ArmyMother to Michael, 22, married and in WI with his wife and grandmother.Try